I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
