It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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