I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
You've changed since you got that strap on
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
