You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
