just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
it's great music for shaving your balls
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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