Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize