he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
The power of my boobs compel you
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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