She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
