I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
