he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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