Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
