What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
