I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize