Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
