Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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