well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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