You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
