I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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