My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
