I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Randomize