Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
