It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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