it wasn't lemon gatorade
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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