in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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