Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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