Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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