Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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