I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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