like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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