He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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