It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
