love makes seman taste better
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
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