So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
