please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize