Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
