idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
