just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize