so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize