did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
