Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
