Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
they're like a gay fantastic four
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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