Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
this boner is exhausting
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
