well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
