he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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