Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
