come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Randomize
