That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
