I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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