tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
i've created a new STD.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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