literally had 100 drinks last night.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Randomize
