Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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