Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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