hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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