im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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