Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize