Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize