so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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