I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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