we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
