ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Don't tell me you're on acid again
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
