And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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