"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I had to cum in my sink.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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