would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
