I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
