? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
