So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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