So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
