drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
